I wrote a post about New Atheism the other day and so I feel the need to talk about Christianity to equal things out. My relationship with the faith is just awkward: my parents are United Methodist Clergy and I’m a pretty convinced metaphysical naturalist/atheist.
I know my parents won’t disown me or write me out of the will - They already know I’m at best unorthodox. Most importantly, they love me and I love them. Now, I don’t want their church members to catch wind of this and it becomes awkward for them (Thankfully I’m certain none will read this). I don’t bring it up because I’m afraid they’ll try to convert me, and I know there’s really nothing they can say to change my mind. I’m happy - pun intended - just as I am1.
The other awkward aspect of my relationship with Christianity is that I’m a latent cultural Christian. I often hum 18th/19th century hymns, and many of my implicit values are liberal mainline protestant. I’ve interacted with various secular/atheist people, and their values just don’t mesh with me. One way this sticks out is that I’m a big fan of virtue ethics, feel squeamish about public conversations about sexuality, and am a huge fan of the American protestant work ethic (even if it has faults), among other things.
Meanwhile, I find insufficient explicitly secular philosophies such as socialism, communism, Effective Altruism, utilitarianism, veganism, and vegetarianism. The people who advocate them have a brain wholly different from mine. It’s hard to tell if the difference is biological (they have autism or something), cultural (I was raised Christian, many of them weren’t), or personal/psychological.
Maybe I’m this way because I’m a “normal” output of American culture. Regardless, I just know that I’ve read a lot about Christianity and its history and it’s shaped the way I think about living a good life, even if half the time the scripture has expressed values and beliefs I don’t share.
In my mid-twenties, I was one of those men going to church because I read all those studies about how church attendance was good for well-being, if not for those who go, but for the communities church-goers live in. I thought if I couldn’t be a believing Christian, I could find contentment in behaving Christian or belonging in Christian community.
That was silly.
I was miserable sitting in the pews of a near-empty Episcopal church and you couldn’t pay me to go to an evangelical church. I dreaded going, and I didn’t feel any better about myself or connected to my community. I know there are many people like me nowadays, so here’s my advice: Don’t do that. Find your own way. I couldn’t tell you what the best way is for yourself, but I’ve found myself happier pursuing non-Church activities on a Sunday.
Baptist altar call reference, for those who need it